SF-NY overview

A crazy match is coming up, possibly the hardest of the season. Unfortunately for the mechanics, our arguably most trusty can of oil known as the ostrich (Vinay Bhat) is unable to play this all-important match. Regrets aside, we still have good chances to win this match. Heres my FULLPROOF idea:

On board 1 we have Josh against GM Charbonneau. This will be a hard one to win as charbonneau has proved himself numerous times and was last years MVP. His scores with black are especially impressive. However Josh has tried very hard but still not yet succeeded to lose with white. In fact, he has mouseslipped his way to victory every match but one which was drawn against none other than Charbonneau. He clearly was thinking too hard, and he was on the wrong computer. this time he will take the computer on the left, which has the slipperiest mouse as IM McCambridge will tell you after his game with Becerra. So with josh mouseslipping like never before he should be able to at least draw the super GM

On board 2 we have IM Krush against our trusty friend David. David has been in a minor slump in the USCL but is playing just fine OTB. David has only one main problem- being too tense. He takes the game very seriously, which is a good thing, but for such an important match a relaxed state of mind might be a powerful asset. If he is in a nice mood, feeling great and not overly nervous and his mind off the match, he should be able to draw or win. Before the game we can take his mind off the match quite effectively. Im not going to totally spill the beans on our method as the NY team might use it, but I'll just say i don't think it would work for krush.

On board 3 we have DIma againstv FM Hess. Hess is a very strong player and after my rating climbed a long ways and i thought i was getting good i looked on the top 100 list- and Robert is the only guy ahead of me! YAYAY ill pass him and be #1!. Then i saw his actual rating and was disheartened, knowing it would take a very long time to catch him and thats unlikely anyways. I therefore REALLY want dima to win this game for reasons beyond USCL. I have thought long and hard about a way to do it, and i regret to say my only solution is to offer robert to come out to "a certain establishment where certain waitresses are dressed a certain way" with me and josh after the game. Maybe he will get so excited that he will catch a plane to CA and be on it during the match and we can win by forfeit.

On board 4 i have my work cut out for me with Matt Herman. He seems to be a super genius and would be much higher rated if he hadnt excelled so much in school and worked so hard at it. Oh well, I think we have secured 2.5/3 on the other boards so i can lose and we can still win the match. I feel so privelaged. I have a meager plan for victory on this board, but unfortunately during USCL games the players cannot receive personal tells on ICC (I was planning on spamming with some interesting images made completely from symbols such as / \ ( ) and others. Trust me, they are distracting! I do however have a plan B: Right before the game starts, send him some Borat clips from youtube. He might click them and watch when the game has started. In that case i will have a time advantage and he will have sore abs from laughing so hard, giving me a slight edge on move 1. Even still, I can expext to lose.

We now have 2 good strategies, either one should win the match. Josh, something is wrong with your bank account because my check didnt bounce.

THE MECHANICS WILL FIX CARS WEDNESDAY NIGHT