Thursday, October 05, 2006

Open Letter to Deputy Commissioner of the US Chess League

To Gregory Shahade, President of the United States Chess League:

I am Jaan Cochrinov, assistant manager to the San Francisco Mechanics, and I might share a concern of my regarding the Seattle team. I have suspected something for quite some time, and I believe I finally have sufficient proof. I plugged the moves of each Seattle player from their Wednesday match against Miami into shredder, with alarming results. Each, and I mean EACH of them, played one of the top 20 choices by shredder every move! When I reduced it to top 10, that percentage decreased to 95, however I think it is clear to everyone what is going on.

If we are to play the Seattle team next week, we request the following actions be taken:

1. No Seattle player will have access to a computer at ANY time.

2. The private bathrooms for both teams be shut down, to be replaced by one bathroom to be shared by both teams.

3. If a Seattle player plays a single move suggested by a computer, we reserve the right to withdraw from the match IMMEDIATELY and without question.

I expect ALL these demands to be met, or else we might seriously reconsider participating in further US Chess League matches.

Sincerely,
Jaan Cochrinov, Assistant Manager of the San Francisco Mechanics

9 Comments:

At 2:21 PM, Blogger JG said...

Are you really that bored josh?

 
At 8:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! My dog could pick one of the top 20 options 90% of the time, and she's only a C player.

 
At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Incredible. Especially since all players relay their moves by computer and could not share a bathroom if they wanted to. And I agree, any decent player should should pick a candidate move, which should happen almost all the time; otherwise you blunder and lose, and no GrandMaster is consistently going to blunder. I'm not sure this joke is appropriately linked to the USCL web site because it appears so formal and official: it may actually incite a war!

 
At 4:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, there isn't much reaction on the wachess.com website. One person mildly asked if this was a joke and two others basically said of course it is. It the author hadn't gone out of his way to make unbelievably outrageous and ridiculous claims, it might have caused a problem, but anyone can see this was just good clean fun.

 
At 6:56 AM, Blogger Globular said...

Anything written, said, or (especially) played by Josh, is indeed a joke.

:)

 
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